OY! HOLY PEOPLE

The story of the Conquest of Canaan (ca. 1210 BC)

Found in: Joshua, Judges and Ruth


The Israelites looked forward to no longer having to rely on manna for food and be able to eat from their own land! Before entering the land, Joshua made an impassioned call to all of Israel to choose between the gods of Canaan and Yahweh. Since it was still inhabited by worshippers of false gods with abominable practices like child sacrifice, God had Israel pronounce the “curse of destruction" on Canaan: cities and everyone in it were to be destroyed, with all the loot going to the sanctuary. Failure to completely carry out the curse meant punishment for the Israelites, whom God intended as a people for Himself.

The book of Joshua described the conquest as three successful military sweeps. In one battle the walls of Jericho were knocked down with mere trumpet blasts, and in another the sun was commanded to stand still long enough for the Israelites to fully carry out the curse of destruction.

The Book of Judges, on the other hand, showed the Canaanites holding their ground, with the Israelites even settling in with them at times. Over the next few generations, they would fall into a vicious cycle: God would grant them a victory over some of the Canaanites; the Israelites would get comfortable and begin worshipping the Canaanite gods; as punishment God would let them lose another battle and some land; Israel would repent and cry out to God; God would raise a judge, a warrior to lead them to victory and reclaim part of the land. When a judge died, Israel would revert to worshipping the false gods… and the cycle would begin all over again.

The two most famous judges were Gideon and Samson. God told Gideon to pare his thousands of soldiers down to a mere 300 so that when they won in battle it would be obvious that it was by God’s strength and not the Israelites’. Then there was the mighty Samson. While he was judge, their toughest enemies were the Philistines, the Canaanites along the west coast. Disregarding God’s warning about the foreign women, he married the Philistine woman, Delilah. She seduced him into revealing the secret of his strength (his long hair), lulled him to sleep and had his hair cut, weakening him so that the Philistines could take him prisoner. One day after his hair and strength grew back, in a heroic act he wrapped his chains around a couple of columns in a stadium and brought the stadium down on the Philistines and himself. 

After civil war nearly tore the 12 tribes apart, the book of Judges summed up why the Israelites had such a hard time securing the promised land: “In those days there was no king in Israel, and everyone did as he saw fit.” 


Notes:

The violent and graphic stories about the curse of destruction in Judges (and other books) remind us that this is the primitive part of human history. At this stage God is guiding them in terms they understand, temporarily using warfare to punish the nations for their abominations. Later in Israel's history, the prophets reveal that God wills non-violence, to the point of punishing Israel if they use too much violence. The larger emphasis on non-violence gets overlooked (knowingly or not) by those who deny an all loving  God.


While other peoples march graven images of their gods into battle, the Israelites march the ark of the covenant with the tablets, since God was invisible and not to be depicted visually. The coming of Christ in the flesh will change that (but we're not there yet!)


There were male and female judges. The prophetess Deborah wrote a poem exalting a woman for killing one of Israel's enemies (not a pretty tale!).

Review questions:

What is the difference between the wars in Canaan told in Joshua versus the ones told in Judges?

How do we know God did not continue permitting warfare in his name?

Oy, holy people, here we go.
Try remembering when Joshua would win a war, 
We’d owe it to the Man and not our hand.
Every time we win a war, 
we’re as faithful as a whore, 
Runnin’ around with other gods, 
with foreign women, and what’s more,
God is faithful all the time, 
but He pays us for the crime, 
Letting us lose a piece of land 
every time we stray again.
But if we come back, He’ll lead the attack,
We’ll be his people and He’ll be our joy,
But if we forget, we’ll soon be met
With the foreign rod he will employ. Oy!

Holy People, 
the Canaanites put up a fight
to keep the Promised Land. 
Oy! Chosen People, 
the Philistines are pretty mean. 
We’re doing the best we can.

Oy, Lil’ Debbie cut the fudge. 
God anointed you to judge.
Sisera, go straight to jail, 
the lady pegged him with a nail!
Gideon, the word of God 
said take the men that drink like a dog.
You don't need more, just wait and see 
we're gonna get the victory.
Check out Samson with the hair, 
he’s the guy to take us there! 
But Delilah had a plan: 
Cut the hair, betray the man! 
But it grew back, he led the attack,
he pulled on his chains, and what do you know,
He took out a bunch of Philistines, 
but back and forth we go. Oy!

Holy People, 
the Canaanites put up a fight
to keep the Promised Land. 
Oy! Chosen People, 
the Philistines are pretty mean. 
We’re doing the best we can.

Oy, holy People. Oy, chosen People.
Oy, holy People, Oy, chosen ones.

Oy! Holy People, 
the Canaanites put up a fight
to keep the Promised Land. 
Oy! Chosen People, 
the Philistines are pretty mean. 
We’re doing the best we can.

Oy, holy People, before there were kings,
Chosen People, you did your own thing.
Holy People, the trouble you bring, 
Chosen ones! 

Oy! Holy People, 
the Canaanites put up a fight
to keep the Promised Land. 
Oy! Chosen People, 
the Philistines are pretty mean. 
We’re doing the best we can.

Oy! Holy People, 
the Canaanites put up a fight
to keep the Promised Land. 
Oy! Chosen People, 
the Philistines are pretty mean. 
We’re doing the best that we can.
Oy!